Step Into My Thimble

7-28-2001
Although I’m no Sidney Poitier, I did have the pleasure of being the special guest of an english class at the University of Lima’s Ariquipa campus. I was invited there after an invigorating game of soccer by some of my new friends so that I could “check out” the teacher, and make sure he spoke decent english and wasn’t some hack.
So, dishevelled and stinking after my soccer game, I went to the class and was immediatly singled out by the Professor and called to the front of the class to answer questions about myself in english.

The teacher himself was a nice enough guy, spoke fairly good english with even a bit of an american accent. He was a rabid Americanophile, eager to learn any scrap of slang and improve his english in any way. Like a lot of guys here in south america, he was a little portly and effete, and I’m not sure if that body type is common, or if i just happen to be moving in weird circles.

As I moved to the front of the class, I could feel myself being mentally undressed by the women in the class. At this point the teacher became something of my pimp, chatting me up to the ladies and spurring them on to check me out! I tried my best to hide behind the podium, but he coaxed me out of my hiding place to write my name and email address on the board.

The first question asked, amidst much making of eyes was “Are you single?” I said I had a girlfriend in the US (fear not Heidi dearest!). The next question, however was “How do you like Peruvian girls?” I swear, where were the guys? I said they were very cute and nice. After that the questions mellowed out a bit, until I was pressed into work grading papers, when all the women swarmed me so that i could check their stuff. The kept saying they liked my blue eyes, and I swear a Peruvian Tonya doppleganger rubbed her bosom on me. Was I asleep in college? Are american coeds like this?

Finally, my friends managed to drag me out of there, and my brush with the Peruvian education system was at an end. Just as I was leaving, however, some wiseass starting yelling “Grass! Grass!” and pretending to inhale a joint. I don’t know what my response to that was supposed to be, so I just walked out of there with my friends. I didn’t even get a cup like sidney did. However, I did sort of like the experience of teaching english, and the idea of teaching in Japan isn’ t quite so abstract. We’ll have to see. Anyway, until next time hasta luego all!

7-23-2001
Saturday in Ariquipa Peru I was joined by my friend David, a Peruvian lawyer to sample the ancient incan cuisine called “Cuy” in spanish and known to us gringos as guinea pig. Now, as a child i grew up reading an english children’s series called “Hannibal the Hamster” but in general i’ve never been a big buddy of rodents, and now was my chance to get even, because, frankly, I hate vermin. Even children’s book characters that have never done anyone harm.

The restaurant was called “La Lusilla” and was located on the outskirts of town, in an area of the city called Sachaca. It’s semi rural, and the restaurant gave us a great view of the nearby alfalfa and onion fields with the mountains towering in the background along with three dormant volcanos now long since dead. We sat outside, because even though its winter here, if you’re in the sun you’re fine in a short sleeved shirt and jeans and it felt quite comfy with a nice breeze wafting in off the alfalfa fields. Insides, a marichi band tormented the people so that was also added incentive to get out in the sun.

We started off our meal with Ariquipeña, the local brew and it went down quite smooth. It was a dark beer, not particularly strong, and we only had about a pint each so it didn’t penetrate the ól navy liver enough to do any damage. As an appetizer I had a spicy pepper stuffed with meat, cheese, and the ubiquitous onion. David had cold pigs feet. I tried it, and it was like eating the cartilage off a bone. It wasn’t particulary succulent. Add to this also boiled potatos, another fixture in a meal of any size.

Just as we were finishing our beers, we ordered a large (think two big oktoberfest steins) jug of Chicha, a fermented corn drink that goes way back to probably preincan times. There are two types “verde” and “madura”, the latter being the more alchoholic of the two. We had the verde, and frankly the most distinctive thing about it was its red color (although it can also be yellow depending on the type of corn i’m told) and its total lack of taste. It did however, stink like the devil. I can’t quite describe the smell, i want to say wet socks?

On with the rodent! It came fried, from head to toe. It tasted….fried. The stereotype is true, it does indeed taste like chicken but it did involve some sort of endurance to tear its little legs off (feet attached) and get at the meat. They broke the ribcage so if you flipped Hannibal on his back you could eat his savory internal organs, which i did with gusto. It went down quite easily until i was spurred on by David to crack its face open and eat its tongue and brains and eyes. I managed it, but the little teeth and the skull kind of freaked me out, although david making his skull laugh and talk helped rather than hindered the whole digestive process.

After the meal we headed to a nearby tower which afforded us a view of all of Ariquipa, the nearby mountains, volcanoes, and larger buildings. Nearby we could see the rooftop hutches where people kept their Cuy and turkeys for later consumption.

Would I recommend rodents for lunch? Hell yeah! Its like chicken, and if you cut the head and feet off, how the hell would you even know? It was a pretty great experience, even if my mind did keep conjuring images of new york subway rats that eat filth all day, but maybe ya’ll can control your imaginations a little better than me.

So there you have it your boy rod enjoying the splendors of peru, its no ostrich steak, but it’ll do in a pinch. Later in the week going to see some nearby petroglyphs, this country is overflowing with archaeology. My next entry will involve petroglyphs and the preserved sacrifices of the incans. Until then, bon apetite and ciao!