Some statistics from the overly busy, but very worthwhile, five week vacation we had back to the US not too long ago…

Total flight time: 35 hours

Total layover time (all in Atlanta): 5 hours

Times the interior of the Delta airplane looked like it was going to crash down on us: 1

Quality of Delta service, 1 – 10 (10=good, from American traveler used to shitty, basic airline service): 8, but the first flight DXB-ATL was a 4

Miles driven for road trips: about 2,200

States visited: 6 (MI, OH, PA, MD, WV, IN) + District of Columbia

Geocaches found: 8

U-Picks visited: 2 (blueberries, peaches)

Pies eaten: 0

Beaches visited: 4

Cultural institutions visited: 9 (Portage District Library, Petoskey Public Library, Mackinac Island Public Library, Fort Mackinac, National Zoo, Seneca Creek State Park [MD], Smithsonian Postal Museum and Hirschorn Gallery, Antietam National Battlefield). Not included: other county/local parks; Trader Joe’s.

Family reunions attended: 1

Water parks visited: 1

Number of family reunions held at water parks: 1

Beds slept in: 11 (including three air mattresses)

Times each of us got a head cold: 1

Number of days the head cold lasted: 2

Times we got stuck in the rain: 1

Number of umbrellas purchased: 2

Number of umbrellas brought back to Dubai: 2

Pounds of checked luggage brought back to Dubai: 145

Number of Disney movies Maeve watched on the plane: 3 billion

This post is inspired by some other Dubai blog post along the same lines, for which I have lost the link. Lots of stuff here doesn’t make any sense.

  • Why are some cars called “saloon”? And barber shops too?
  • Why are all the women’s hair stylists from the Phillipines?
  • Why are there no fast-food drive-throughs here? There is no shortage of KFC, McDonald’s, and all the other franchises that lend themselves to the driveup window, and the local car-loving culture certainly seems suited to this most lazy approach to acquiring one’s dinner.
  • Why do 95% of the pickup trucks come in white with red/brown detailing on the sides, like this:
    Dubai Truck 2
    or this:
    Dubai Truck 1
  • Why do most cans of soda have pull tabs?
  • Why is there so much self-congratulating by government entities here? Do they think that people will start to believe it after a while, even though the services are for the most part completely dismal? One web site recently added a new “eComplaint” feature as if it was some kind of breakthrough–why not do away with the need for complaining in the first place??
  • How come it is impossible to find a normal-sized spoon here? They are either huge or tiny.
  • Considering that this country is one of the worst in terms of consumption, water and electricity being high on the list, how come you only get two or three paltry ice cubes in a glass of soda or iced tea?
  • Why does every dessert come with an artful flourish of chocolate sticking out of it? Is there a central chocolate flourish production factory somewhere in the UAE?
  • Why do the desserts always seem to come in tiny sample-size cups? (I know the answer to that–so you feel less guilty having seven or eight of them.) And why, when the little cups are what they come in, are there only huge spoons and not tiny ones around so that you have to eat it with your knife?

The quest for logic continues…

The general rule of thumb for life in Dubai is, if you need it, it’s in the mall. Need a key cut? Go to the mall. Organic baby bok choy? Mall. Car wash? Neck brace? You got it–go to the mall! People, I am not even joking.

This weekend we went down to Abu Dhabi to visit a coworker I’ve just become friendly with, who works on our other campus. It was low key, we just went to hang around and talk, and of course go to the mall (we wanted gelato). New friend and her husband were super cool about getting activities together for Maeve, so we spent most of the time at their place, coloring and chatting and eating snacks. Today after an extended breakfast they were showing us some of their travel photos, and Maeve in all her four-year-oldness was having fun jumping around on the sofa. One little loss of balance, and she was backward onto the hard marble floor and howling, with a hand to one of her temples, and the brand new fancy French glasses in a crunched up heap on the floor.

I carried her to the bathroom, pried the little bloody hand away, and found a gigantic gouge on the side of her head where the broken glasses frame had dug in. OUCH. It was not pretty. But for a head wound it really didn’t bleed a lot. We decided to keep an eye on her while we drove back to Dubai, and then decide about a doctor, because she settled down pretty quickly. By then we’d got to the end of our hosts’ hospitality anyway so after a bandaid, some cleanup and an icepack, we got out of there.

Coming into Dubai, we were chatting about how the house had no groceries, the glasses (our only pair with the significantly different new prescription) were trashed, and that we really have no first aid supplies here. Since the glasses came from the kids’ optician in the Dubai Mall, and there is a supermarket and pharmacy in there, we decided to go there. The plan was to change the bandaid and assess the dent in her head, and then if necessary we could visit the Dubai Mall Medical Centre.

And upon unveiling, the thing still looked too deep for parental comfort levels, so that was what we did.

Wine bar... Wait, medical clinic

The Medical Centre itself is a special place. When we went in, it totally reminded us of a wine bar. There was all this low funky seating with 20-foot-long sheer curtains encircling each sofa, and a “water bar” with a roving waiter handing out glasses of soda water with mint leaves and lemon. A really nice doctor and a couple of nurses steri-stripped Maeve’s head up in a flash, gave us some gauze and instructions for no swimming or bathing for five days, and told us to call if there were any problems. In the meantime the lenses from the busted glasses were put into new frames (yellow and orange this time because the pink/red was out of stock), and we managed to grab Tinkerbell bandaids and a few staples at Waitrose at the end.

As obnoxious as it can be that if you want to get anything done you almost always end up in a mall here, at a time like this it was actually a good thing. It’s been 45 Celcius lately and then some, and shuttling a hurt kid between ten different places is much easier when they are all connected and you can get a Cadbury cake roll somewhere along the way.

Themes appearing lately in my Google Reader Recommended Items, primarily, I think, because I subscribe to the headlines feeds from three UAE newspapers…

  • Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico
  • Drilling for oil in general
  • World Cup football/soccer
  • Formula One racing
  • Sex and the City 2 reviews (they go to Abu Dhabi–really Morocco–in the film)

In the WTF department, other themes I am getting…

  • A bunch of Twitter posts in Chinese
  • Conservative Christian blog posts on a range of subjects
  • Tons of stuff about Apple corp. and its products
  • Nuclear energy
  • New York City restaurant reviews and other NY culture
  • News stories on all kinds of college pranks like sack tapping and eyeballing
  • A lot of really bad web comics.
  • Doctor blogs

So my theory that items are recommended with some algorithms or whatever based on what I already read and subscribe to doesn’t seem to hold. Have the bots never checked my list of 150+ craft blogs and nearly 100 archives/library blogs? Where are those recommended items? Or did I subscribe to all the good ones already?

If you are reading something good, put a link in the comments.

It’s the nature of the United Arab Emirates to drive everywhere. If you have the means, you drive a car because it beats standing at a bus station in 110 degree heat (although some of the bus stops are covered and air conditioned). In this respect, Dubai reminds me a lot of another place where I spent a lot of time driving: Detroit. Everywhere in Detroit takes 20-40 minutes to get to. Ditto in Dubai. Both cities are spread out over a vast amount of space, a lot of it empty. Whereas Dubai’s empty spaces are undeveloped, Detroit’s are abandoned. I sometimes think of Detroit as a city with its heart ripped out, and Dubai as a city powered by a cheap, plastic, artificial heart that is already starting to break down.

Growing up in the suburbs of Detroit meant that a car was something you aspired to as soon as possible. It allowed you to get away with your friends to places you would have never asked your parents to take you. It made a handy mobile bedroom for make out sessions, and if nothing else was a sanctuary from the hassles of everyday suburban living (because in the early 90′s there were no car phones for middle class people). I see some of this among the Arabs here in Dubai. Like teenagers everywhere, there is a lot of pent up emotion, sexual frustration, and anxiety for the future. In the US, kids get out of high school, move out of the house and hopefully go to college and then proceed to release all these pent up cravings in all manner of crazy behavior, most of it involving alcohol, sex, and possibly illicit drug use. To a lesser extent of course you have the tattoos, the piercings, political causes, cults, and hardcore religion.

Although Dubai is the Gulf’s “Sin City” this does not really parallel our Western concepts of the kind of craziness going on in Las Vegas, or New Orleans. To a gulf Arab it might be a really big deal to drink beer, dance at a nightclub, and oogle the women in the slinky outfits. One of my pet theories is that the UAE is following the American blueprint of development (trying as best it can, anyway) and is now finding itself somewhere in the 1950′s. The country is flush, people can buy all sorts of stuff that wasn’t previously available, but the pushback to this sort of hollow materialism hasn’t quite started to occur. Societal mores are weakening, but are still fairly strong. People still don’t do the sorts of things in public that might be common in the US. Think about your grandparents. They probably went to church every sunday. People looked out for each other and their kids. There was a public civility that existed because everyone was worried about what their neighbors thought . Deviance was kept quiet, out of sight, and hidden forever, if possible. People also chafed under the conformity, setting the table for everything that occurred in the sixties.

In the UAE life is still kind of like this too, although it is not a perfect match. People are fairly pious, but the government also keeps a very rigid control over morality. Although they want to be the Gulf’s playground, they are trying to have it both ways by keeping things under some sort of control. This is why for example you can be arrested for kissing in public, being dressed indecently, swearing or gesticulating in a lewd manner at someone, to say nothing of being a homosexual or having sex outside of marriage, or adultery. There were and are laws against these sorts of things in the US too, but I think a lot of barriers started falling in the 60′s and the UAE isn’t there yet, if it ever will be.

In the 50′s, with the middle class being able to afford cars, cruising became a pastime for a lot of Americans, adults and teenagers. You could hop in your car and drive to some town where nobody knew you or your family and be a little more free. Maybe you could kiss your girl without some town busybody telling your parents. I see a lot of cruising here. If you live in a culture where you can’t date and its too hot to be outside for months at a stretch, how do you entertain yourself and blow off steam? The answer, in my own limited experience is to drive, and particularly drive as fast as possible over everything. You can drive fast on the highway, you can drive through the desert over sand dunes. You can drive on the beach. You can drive on the shoulders of the road, and you can drive in the opposite direction on a one way street. I think it is one of the few ways for people here to vent.

Now add this to the fact that we have dozens of different nationalities also sharing the road and we get all kinds of wild, dangerous, funny, and weird stuff happening all the time and since you have to drive to get anywhere there really is no avoiding it. There are incongruities such as junky third world trucks that can barely drive 45mph sharing the highway with high performance sports cars such as Ferraris or Maseratis that blow by you at 120mph. There are laws, there are rules and courtesies but everything seems to be optional if you can get away with it. It amazes me for example that it is perfectly all right for someone to tailgate and flash your lights, but that same macho driver will turn you in if you give them the finger. Apparently that is a line you can’t cross. If they don’t turn you in they may try to run you off the road. I do not have first hand experience, but I see maybe one excessive pissing contest a week with motorists. I see aggressive and risky driving every day to the point that I don’t even recognize it anymore. What specifically you ask? Oh, just to name a few:

1) Two cars sharing a lane so that a faster car can pass by (very common on exit ramps- again this is because you have a lot of giant construction vehicles that go very slow so sometimes they get over so you can go by)

2) People whipping across three or four lanes of traffic to get onto another street. (No incremental lane changes, no signal, although this is probably obvious to point out)

3) People stopping and going into reverse because they missed their exit- yes on what would be considered an interstate in the US. The smart ones do it on the shoulder, but I’ve seen plenty of examples that do not meet that standard. Now, this is what I would plainly consider suicide, but there might be some weak justifications here after all with all the construction sometimes there really is only one way to get somewhere and it can change overnight. I have been here four months and the landscape has already changed. Traffic lights appear where previously there were none. Exit ramps appear and disappear. Signs appear, are covered, uncovered, and then changed again. It requires a lot of flexibility. I’m happy to miss the turn and and come around, but sometimes that next turnaround is along way away and if you are impatient maybe going in reverse seems like a viable option for you.

As is typical for me, a simple blog post about driving here became another long winded discourse on history and politics. My apologies. I will have a “Driving 2″ post soon and it will focus on driving and ethnic stereotypes. Isn’t that an improvement? Toodles!

Maeve has a birthday party to go to tomorrow. Guess what, it’s in a mall. She has a few new friends at school, and most of them have recently turned or will soon turn four. This party is for a French girl named Anais, and here the “no gifts please” thing is kind of a turn off–kids are really indulged way more than at home. (The up side is that we don’t have to deal with the crazy seasonal things like Easter, Halloween or even Christmas except on a scale we choose for ourselves. We will not be hearing “O Come All Ye Faithful” muzak in the supermarket, nor will there be opportunities to parade around in our United Nations of an apartment building begging for candy, for example. At school they get a tiny taste of holidays all around the world, which is really nice.) Anyway, it seems most families like the idea of a package birthday here where you pay to have the invitations made, the food brought in, and the whole thing hosted somewhere other than your house. We won’t ever be doing that I don’t think, but I won’t stop Maeve from going to them. It’s nice to be invited as the “new kid.”

On Friday we have rounded up a few of the people from my orientation group, three new teaching faculty who are about our age, all single and no kids, but they like Maeve and have been very patient when we all got together at the beach a few times. We are going to give one of the infamous hotel brunches for expats a try. Each person chooses what level of brunch, from just the open buffet, to house beer and wine, all the way to champagne. Everything is unlimited in quantity during the service hours. And with the zero tolerance law, we have to go by taxi. We’re going to The Californian at the Dusit Thani hotel on Sheikh Zayed Road, which is supposed to have a very nice range of international cuisines, a Belgian waffle station, a chocolate fountain, and a nice view of the Gulf. The rest of that day will probably be spent either resting at the pool or maybe watching a movie. We still haven’t been to the theater here but I hear it’s lots of fun, with people constantly talking on their phones, going in and out, no respect for others, etc. Sad to say, in general that’s the stereotype for public behavior here. I am also always shocked at how much people interrupt each other or just keep talking over the top of someone else, at work. The concept of waiting one’s turn in shops or cafes has not made it to this region either, and in fact people just swarm cashiers and food servers from every angle with no consideration of a direction people are meant to move in.

Next week we are going to try another ophthalmologist for Maeve, this time at the City Hospital. Her prescription has clearly changed, but the first doctor she went to was pretty nonchalant. As our former pediatric ophthalmologist and orthoptist always told us, mother knows best, and if you see your kid taking off her glasses or refusing to wear them, it’s time for a new prescription. This has definitely been happening for a while now, and my theory is that it’s related to the giant new interest in coloring ALL THE TIME. That must take a different kind of eye focus, right? The health care here is better in the sense that we just can walk in, and not wait four to six months to get into a doctor’s office, but the quality can leave something to be desired. This new doctor comes on the recommendation of another parent at Maeve’s school (maybe Anais’ mother?). And you know what–the Dubai Mall has an optometry shop just for kids!

We are also going to get our own PO Box. Work is making it harder to receive parcels, and going to the main post office to retrieve them is a total hassle. But the total hassle of signing up for a PO Box (you need two passport-size photos, a copy of your residence visa, and a bunch of other crap) is slightly less than doing things how we are now. Address to be distributed once we find out. And my mom recently tested the “don’t send chocolate” instruction–really, don’t send chocolate, or anything that could melt like crayons. It is REALLY hot here, sometimes in the 90s overnight now, and where our things get stored or transported is anybody’s guess. There are a lot of really grubby, third-world-ish industrial zones here that keep all the flashy stuff you usually hear about up and running. How do we know? We’ve gotten lost driving through them.

Our house is pretty much sold, though the inspection brought up a bunch of stupid things that need fixing (which my dad will generously take care of as always). We lost some money on it but when you take the long view and consider paying the mortgage and utilities indefinitely while we can’t even live in it, knowing that we are not likely ever to go back to it, it makes sense to let it go as soon as we could. Sorry to say the person who bought it, someone I sort of know from high school, won’t fit into the slot we left behind in the Kalamazoo Parent Sanity Club–but I think he’ll like the house and the neighborhood a lot, he’ll fit in with the lefties there, and he’ll probably be pretty low-key. We let my brother have the swing set. Sorry Brandon.

Also, Rodney got a job. Still no concrete start date or anything, but it’s at a good hospital. The load of decisions that goes along with it were what put me over the edge last week, but I have scaled back on the freaking out knowing that we have a little time before all that has to be sorted out. Two full-time incomes, a first for us except for like the first six months of our relationship.

Im in yr Emirates NBD, wirin money home to yr Chase.

Last night’s dream:

I fell into a giant mud pit in the middle of a construction site. I yelled “Help!” and the person who showed up was the director of human resources where I currently work. She got some guy to throw me a rope.

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I thought I might share an update, and base it around the way Dubai is experienced through the five senses. Oftentimes it is heavy, an overwhelming assault, but there are subtleties that are appreciated as well, and make it a pleasure to live here. I will try to evoke what I can.

Smell: My nose is not the most sensitive, which is both a blessing and a curse. However, Dubai is the land of strong smells. Because water was traditionally scarce, the Bedouin didn’t use it for washing, but instead used heavy fragrances and incense to cover up the BO. Although water is available now (and the Gulf uses more than anywhere else) the culture still emphasizes strong fragrances in everything from perfume, to detergents, and yes, even the toilet paper. I’m trying to think of a way to describe the smell of “Oud” which is a scent that is popular in both fragrances and incense and in some of the malls here is piped into some of the shops. 1) Immerse yourself in a cloud of patchouli for an hour. 2) Take two bottles of “McGraw” cologne. Dump one over yourself. Drink the other. 3) Wrestle a skunk. This gives an idea of the potency of the stuff. Flowers are everywhere. Their smells are a wonderful respite from some of the less savory aspects of a car culture with fungible emission laws. Also, like I’ve said before the sewage trucks are ubiquitous and “grey water” is used to water the flowers, so sometimes that smell can emit from the flowerbeds too. The sheer variety of ethnicities means food prep in our apartment building can be a total crapshoot. One of our neighbors swears that some days the people on their floor do nothing but cut up and cook garlic. We have in our building Indians, Arabs, Westerners, Turks, Phillipinos, Koreans, Russians, and some Africans I have yet to acquaint myself with. These are just the people I know in an 8 story building. With AC we get to sample a little bit of everything through the air vents.

Touch: You miss the feel of western building materials, specifically wood. Our apartment is marble, stone, cement, brick and some kind of plexiglass window. In our creaky old house I could track the movements of everyone, even the cat. Here Maeve can be anywhere and I have no idea where she is or how she got there. We can all pretend we’re ninjas. The sidewalks nearby are brick, and hell on my feet when I run. The roads are asphalt but with the unpredictability of drivers its a risk to run on them, although plenty of people do. Sand, sand everywhere. Fine stuff, laden with sea shells of all variety of textures. Maeve and Heidi have amassed quite a collection. For people from the Great Lakes it seems a bounty to hold white, spikey shells in your hands alongside amazing vermillion conches and shells that are as big as the palm of your hand to carry the little ones away to your car.

Taste: I was going to make a post called “What We’re Eating” but maybe at a later date. Dates…so many varieties here. In the US, you have the giant and expensive Medjool (which is wonderful) and the utility Deglet Noir (moist, tasty, the jack of all trades in the date world). In the supermarket you have at least seven or eight varieties that are available, and then there are some others that are set aside for uses in high end confections. This will merit a seperate post someday when I have done more extensive date tasting. The palms are just starting to sprout, so give me a few months. I have been indulging my interest in middle eastern cuisine here as best I can. The Lebanese are truly the Italians of the Arab world. Their food is amazing, omnipresent, and in many ways has pushed out the “traditional” food of the gulf, which was very limited to meat, milk, dates, and fish. However, we get food from interesting sources. A lot of produce comes from Iran like pistachios, watermelon, cucumbers, almonds. Egypt sends a lot of rice, but also fruits as well. I have been experimenting with Sumac, a reddish spice with a slightly tart flavor. I cooked something called a “Musakhan” (tart chicken in the cookbook) which involved a lot of sumac and chicken broth. The broth was also poured over pita bread to soak it and make it into a quickie dumpling that is then eaten with rice and pine nuts. Cinnamon is also a new favorite spice of mine and using it with couscous to make North African “Tagines” (soups or stews) has inspired me, even though without pork our only consensus meat here is chicken. Boring old chicken. Not a lot of turkey for consumption beyond cold cuts, I have my fish allergy, and the missus is not big on lamb or beef. Pork is available but the cuts aren’t the same and it’s much more expensive than in the US. Hummos is widely available and we consume a lot of it. Most cheeses from europe are available and the feta here is very strong, but in a good way. Since alcohol is forbidden to Muslims they tend to drink a lot of coffee, tea, and juice. I don’t drink coffee, so Heidi will have to expound on that one later, but the tea thus far has been good, but nothing has surprised me. They like mint. A lot. So do I. Especially mixed with lemonade, and we have even started doing this ourselves. Mango is popular, and pineapple. They use a green apple to make juice as well here, and its flavor is more tart that what we’re used to, but Heidi and I both like it. Thumbs down from Maeve though. Incidentally, when booze is harder to get and more expensive you realize how much you like cooking with it.

Hearing: With a country full of people from everywhere else you get a variety of languages and music. We’ve been listening to an Indian radio station here and I tell you truly: You must find a way to listen to Indian hip hop. The pop music is a trip too, and I appreciate it more because its not just some lame world music mash up by Bowie or William Orbit but the actual stuff that some portion of the subcontinent listens to. Its not ironic or cynical, which is refreshing. But the DJ’s confuse the heck out of us because they may say a sentence in English, then switch to Hindi or Urdu or something mid stream and it just becomes gibberish until a stolen word or phrase crops up from the English language again. Like mgighe ighe e gheehilglg who let the dogs out ahoehgeh goehg HA HA HA eoghie igehge that’s right you go girl eowhgoehg g. A culture of a billion people is happening and I’m missing it. Arabs love rap music, and they have the giant suvs to go along with it. It can be in any language. Sometimes they bump what sounds like traditional Arab music too. Usually men sing in Arab cultures, and its really plaintive-sounding. Not really base heavy enough to bump from your Land Cruiser, but hey it’s your country dude.

Sight: I will beat the diversity drum some more. Indian clothing with tiny reflective pieces of glass on the saris, Arab women completely covered in black abayas but with intricate embroidery all over the sleeves and hems. The purse is one of the few things a woman can show when she is covered up, so the more garish and expensive the better. Would you buy a purse covered in gemstones? I’ve always heard “women dress for other women” and I would have to say in the intricate game of purse oneupmanship it seems to bear fruit. Step away from the people and move to the skyline, with the Burj Khalifa visible from everywhere in Dubai. Look out over the water and see the islands that are being built out there. The water is azure and clear as a bell (mostly) although plenty of stuff floats on it. The sand dunes have a patching of green which I am not sure will survive the summer but as you head out towards the eastern part of the country to the Arabian Sea you encounter copper colored hills made of loose bits of rock. Little scrubby trees cling to their sides and the camels you saw in the desert become little groups of goats, staring with their dead eyes through you. Small towers dot these hills, lookouts for pirates or raiders from only fifty or sixty years ago. Birds have color combinations I am unfamiliar with, and funny crests on their heads. Short little wings, weird waddles, blue feet. I should get some pictures. When the sun goes down, nighttime in Arabia is really the best time. The stars and moon shine brightly, all the artificial lights blink, burn, and blast in arrays both artful and garish. This is when life happens here. Little Maeve must sleep, and join all the other uniformed kids for school, so we will promise ourselves another time, another time and close our eyes.

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